So instead of eating and going out to see people and buying boring familial Christmas presents like I should be doing.....I am stuck eating eggs and Linda McCartney sausages and pretending to learn some French and watchin some cooool/not so cooool videos on YouTube and cleaning obsessively and finally sorting out that cuboard under the sink where all the plastic bags ever have been having a party for some time now. I ruined that party. And I'm proud. Those plastic bastards need to not and also not to exist.
Unliiiiiiiiike Beyonce. BUH-BUH BLING!
And also unliiiiike little Jerry Seinfeld. Best face ever no question.