Tuesday, 29 December 2009

flat 8 magic//the day of discovery//AKA how to eat eggs with no eggcups

Bac in Manc huzzah huzzah!! Beloved Broomville looms// a room of one's own and a day to one's self makes no grammatical sense but ehhh who says PostModernism isn't dead?!! ehhhh???!!!

Jess's glove collection...

...reminded me of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when the hand shape coat hooks grab Charlie's Grandad's hat from him//and THEN i found this bizzare clip where Gene Wilder plays a fox...

...pretty Fantastic eh?!!//Just liiike this album illustration is fantastic:

I recognise it!! But why??!! I can't frigging well work it out!!///THE INTERNET HAS FAILED ME! It's by rEGINALD MOUNT, who the fuck is this guy? All I know is that he was milling about in the 60s./ Answers on a postcard pleeease, please, for my sanity...
And on the very same subject of beautiful illustrations...check out my new mug//best christmas present {possibly ever} frooom Mr R.L.Perry and Miss L.Glenton. J'aime beaucoup them and it and childhood memories greatly.

Saturday, 26 December 2009


this is why i don't live on the wirral no more///auntie catherine you can not have my blog adddress there is far far far too much swearing -- why is every single bar on the wirral far too upmarket (sic|) to actually drink in and feel comfortable in and WHYYYYYYY exactly does a public holiday have to be based on something untrue that supposedly happened 2--000 years ago eh? WHY NOT XENU? EHHH? poor xenu has a shit fucking deal. totally fucking fabricated as mmuch as the next jesus but slated as if he is something of a known fabrication//bloody christmas///ok for a while but then absolute frustratatron....................

Camera at last///top 11 christmas day photos///satisfaction

Thursday, 24 December 2009

Fuuuuuuckin yeah!!

Snow! Christmas! More snow! /// CAMERA TIME IN T MINUS 21 HOOUUUUUURRRRS// An insane journey to find a red kettle// Some quality hang out time with Broomville associates/// Best night I've had in a fucking long time? Snow/Magic// More snow than you have ever imagined in your life if you live in this godforsakenly temparate country. Links links linkss tramps plans talking blues/// ABSOLUTE WOW///. prolonged hunger/not being paid on time/buying too many presents when it was surely decided that that was a baaaaad idea due to lack of funds///oh well. home and food and old friends and genius children all the way from Bangkok who are the only ones who match our Jerry in lpm//laughs per minute. Festivuuuuuus!

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Not getting paid on time is laaaaaaame

So instead of eating and going out to see people and buying boring familial Christmas presents like I should be doing.....I am stuck eating eggs and Linda McCartney sausages and pretending to learn some French and watchin some cooool/not so cooool videos on YouTube and cleaning obsessively and finally sorting out that cuboard under the sink where all the plastic bags ever have been having a party for some time now. I ruined that party. And I'm proud. Those plastic bastards need to not and also not to exist.

Unliiiiiiiiike Beyonce. BUH-BUH BLING!

And also unliiiiike little Jerry Seinfeld. Best face ever no question.

Wednesday, 9 December 2009


I want a camera I want a camera I want a camera. Then instead of writing lots of bollocks I can take pictures of things that I like like like friends and drawings and happenings and unhappenings. Today I had a bad/good day.

Things that were good were: Dave's fantastic shop (http://goodgriefshop.blogspot.com/) and a poster by Seripop (http://seripop.com/); Box Elders and Egyptian Hip-Hop; Clayton and his hate blog; Elliot Smith played very very loud. Sorry Tom.

Things that were bad were: having a disgusting cold; the dissolution of a looked forward to plan; a discussion of WHAT TO DO AT NEW YEAR; and being sent under by Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti. No. Thank. You.

Oh the Penguin.

Sunday, 6 December 2009

Soul Soothe Stew


Well for some reason I have woken up at the unearthly hour of before 9am on a Sunday...and since yesterday I refused to embrace the day in any way at all whatsoever, I thought perhaps I'd give living a try today instead. I've opened the window and the breeze is pretty freaking fresh, ooooh yeah! The view out of my window is very very nice: once I get a freaking camera you'll be in for a treat! Waiting for a bird to come and land on my windowsill, so I can offer it my dainty hand and pretend to be Belle from Beauty and the Beast,,,maybe running rampant through Sale crying 'Bonjour' to all the townsfolk.

Better in German, I'm sure you'll agree.
Aaaah Belle, she wants something a bit more out of her life, and she's punished in all sorts of ways. Claassic Gothic. We ladies should just stay at home in the kitchen eh! Well that's my plan anyway. Wouldn't want to end up like the penguin in the Werner Herzog film Encounters at the End of the World. It seems that he has gone mad, and can no longer stand to hang out with the other pinguinos, and so toddles off on his own towards the mountains and to a certain death. Watch this film and you will never be able to stop thinking about this penguin: it's heartbreaking. But absolute respect to him - he chooses a path and it's a different one and it's ultimately a dangerous one, but at least he has the balls to do it. Like these guys in another Herzog film, called La Soufriere. They live in a town about to be engulfed by a volcanic eruption, and everyone else has fled for their lives, but they just hang about, saying that it is God's will, and they aren't afraid of death. And it seems like a crazy thing to do, but they are so calm, and so accepting, that it comes off as the most amazing decision ever. They keep on saying that they are not at all afraid, and that they will just sit and await their fate, as cooly as one might await, I duno, a slightly late mate. You can find out about Herzog's films right here:

We should all be this cool with death I think...it should be cool to talk about it, laugh about it, joke about it; it should be cool to be cool with it. COOL COOL COOL! Why is it so horrific to some people that on Desert Island Discs Morrissey professed to have great respect for those who take their own lives, and would take a bag of sleeping pills in case he wanted to make a quick exit from the island?! You can listen to his lovely lovely voice and hear his contraversial opinions by going to...
...and the reaction...

Why can't someone talk about taking their own life without coming under attack for it? Why can't someone be of the opinion that choosing to end your own life is an honourable thing to do? If people were cooler with death, then someone choosing to end it all would be absolutely fine. The reason people are not cool with it is because they are selfish and weak and believe that their own happiness should come above that of others. i.e; the person who has killed themselves is no longer suffering, but those around them are because they believe that they are somehow entitled to still benefit from that person's existence. Or something like that. I am in no way detracting from the suffering that suicide OBVIOUSLY causes...and I'm pretty sure this was not the intention of good old Mozza himself, I'm just saying that the taboos surrounding death and how we talk about it are unnecessary and damaging and I do not agree with them. This is why I think Six Feet Under is absolutely amazing: as the characters are forced to come to terms with their own mortality, so is the audience. Death is deglamourized, desanitized, and approached from every angle concievable: essential viewing and balm for the soul recovering from the mantra 'Jesus conquers death'. If you need no such recovery, count yourself lucky.

Other soothers, and just general enjoyments for before you die, are around in the form of a) ironically, a documentary called LIFE. Yes Mr Atten-burrrrrrrgh has done it again and this time in HD....HOW EXCITING. Basically, animals are amazing and we are animals and therefore this kind of thing is super interesting and on BBC1 on errr Thursdays or something I think.

b) even more ironically and with a life/death/gothic theme which links absolutely everything in this post with great APLOMB (what a word), another HBO series called True Blood. Yes it's about Vampires, YES it is totally ridiculous and utterly escapist, BUT it is totally amazing. And Alan Ball (Six Feet Under/American Beauty) has written it so if that doesn't persuade you then nothing will.
Yes, thankyou, au revoir.

I guess I lied when I said I wasn't a ranter. I resolve never to rant in this manner again.

Monday, 30 November 2009

Dancin dancin dancin...Oooooooh yeeeeeah!

I've just remembered two spectacles that have absolutely blown my mind and that everyone should see. I WISH I could do this!



Friday, 27 November 2009

things that are far more interesting than any of that self pitying bullshit

well actually just reading Wuthering Heights is actually far more interesting. BUT even more so is David Foster Wallace. Perry, Perry, you have shown me the way. Also more interesting is Mervyn Peake and Francis Bacon and Judith Butler and Susan Sontag AND AND AND AND. There are many more ands but I guess I can save them for later.



so i posted that, right. and then, a little advert comes up (courtesy of google, very kind, very very kind indeed) i'm going to reproduce it as faithfully as possible.
are you ready? it blew my mind.

How to Find a Good Man
10 Dangerous Mistakes Women Make That Ruin The Perfect Relationship

If I was a ranter, I would rant at length about all the things that are wrong with this. As it is, I'm not, and I DO NOT HAVE THAT MUCH TIIIIIIME.

ok ayok okay

OKAY. So far so far so bad. I have been embarassed and I have thought too much and I have deleted and I have ummed and aaahed and generally been an idiot. Enough. Will he turn up? Yeah it's 6am so fucking what, this is not something that I consider to be a major factor in a life crisis of the kind which makes you want to scream insane and preferably wet and cold in the rain and on a moor like Cathy and Heathcliff (except nothing will ever be that insane or that sexy or that RAW), the pepperpot of pathetic fallacy working it's dark and stormy magic. No, he will not turn up. Because he hasn't read it. I've had quite enough of waiting THANKYOU.